While not a complete success, this weekend saw the New Orleans Rugby Club advance further into the playoffs than ever before in club history. NORFC dropped an ugly game to Charleston on Saturday, but regrouped to beat Augusta on Sunday and claim a seed in the national playoffs.

Notable scares involved the Augusta pack, which by the end of the game acquiesced in fear to the powerful forward drives of NORFC. One player even turned his back to Briefcase on a quick tap.

Last Friday night a bunch of the guys got together at Finn’s to send off our Scottish brother Dave. As always we strive to have “scare-free” nights, but that is not always the case. The night got warmed up with a friendly “showering” of beer on my shirt compliments of the teamwork of E-mac and Shubby…thanks guys!! That was awesome. Then we moved on to a more physical type scare with a scuffle between 2 random pool players. There was an attempted head butt, few punches, and that’s all. Not too exciting, but still fun.

The night got a little more interesting when we decided to change venues and head to Bourbon. Well, it was Dave’s last night in the Big Easy so we went to a “dance” club. We were only there for a short while when I noticed a few of us getting “kindly persuaded” to leave. Apparently KK’s lady friend was accused of spitting on one of the “dancers” and she did not like that too much. Following, some other crap must have happened because the last thing we saw in the club was KK getting whacked in the face by some dancer/bartender…ouch! Scary stuff.

We then went to the BBC for a few drinks. We were up on the balcony, and being the friendly guy that I am, I decided to spark up a conversation with this guy standing out there by himself. Hey, he looked lonely. Well, for some reason, this guy did not want to talk to us. Now I have had a few drinks by this time and I don’t remember all the details. What I do remember is that this guy thought he was too good to talk to us. Maybe because he was a doctor, probably because he was a douche. So I decided that if he was a doctor, then I was a psychologist. I decided to “search” for the root of his issues. It took a while and I didn’t really get anywhere. So, Matt-O’s friend Taylor decided that this guy had been a dick for too long and she decided to give him a similar shower that I had received earlier with a few choice words. Yes, she dumped a drink all over him, I think. That was really awesome!! I gotta tell ya, I was really hoping he would say something or try to do something to her, but he didn’t. Possible scare!

It was getting late and we decided to it was time to go to F&M’s. But on the walk down Bourbon as I was telling everyone who would listen how “nice” of a guy I was to help this random guy with his social skills, another really drunk random guy walks up to me and tried to start shit. Apparently this guy, who I had never laid eyes on before, thought I was staring at him. Like I said, I am a nice guy and I informed him that I wasn’t staring. His friends pulled him away. Then, I decided to do the most mature thing I could think of…I turned, pointed and laughed at him. I have no clue why, but that made him really mad. Don’t worry, his friends pulled him away and we left. Don’t worry, T-Breaux was ready. Another possible scare.

Sorry for this long write up, but if you aren’t interested, then why are you reading this crap anyway?

So, it was an interestingly scary night filled with multiple beer showers, head butts, punches, spitting, slapping, drunken counseling, tough guys, verbal abuse, and even a Scottish Guy…if you weren’t there, I know you are jealous!!!

Until Next Time

Rob

The New Orleans RFC Robbish Ruggers defeated the Atlanta Renegades 48-0 and are headed to Jacksonville on 4/26 for the USA Rugby South Final 4. Charleston will be the opponent. Also playing this weekend are Augusta and Jacksonville. The winners play for the #1 and #2 seeds, the losers face off for the #3 seed.

Wishing safe and scare-free travels to all those heading to Jax.

After a short run of good health, the Robbish one had another scare.

NORFC were on the attack, with the ball moved out wide to Trip. There was a 2 on 1 on the outside, and as Trip offloaded to Rob, Rob's hammy gave out and he went tumbling. It was a double scare as the defender shoulder charged Trip, and as Robbish and Tripper lay on the ground, the sir blew the whistle to mark the end of the half. Rob, ever the overachiever, pulled his hammy, knocked the ball on, and rolled his ankle all in one motion.

I'm happy to announce that the New Orleans Rugby Club has finished the cup season undefeated and are D-2 South - West Division champs (cue Karate Kid best around song). Up next are the Atlanta Renegades.

The following scare comes from Matt Oertling:

It was an average day in the workshop. I was working on welding some fixtures for the new Massey’s location when I was confronted with a significant problem. In order to prepare raw steel for a coat of clear enamel, it must be cleaned with acetone. I had been cleaning said steel with the aforementioned solvent and depositing the dirty, solvent soaked rags in a trash receptacle which at the present time was located five feet behind me along with an empty can of acetone. The sparks created by the welding process flew over my head and unbeknownst to be ignited the propellant saturated towels. I finished my weld and removed my shield, but when I turned around I was faced with a raging fire. I knew that it was only a matter of seconds before the empty can exploded and filled the shop with fiery shards of death shrapnel. With unprecedented dynamisism (not doubt heightened by the countless cascade and rucking drills) I leapt for the extinguisher and subdued the blaze. Once again a catastrophe was avoided by quick thinking and swift action.

Holy schmoly. What the hell did I just go through? In one my biggest scares yet, I just survived practice with the Glendale Rugby Club.

Without boring you with details (or giving Coach Jerry any ideas), I can summarize it like this. Imagine a 2 hour long 'Check 1,2' rucking drill.

And of course they forgot to mention to me that in addition to my mouthpiece and boots, I was supposed to bring my own oxygen to the pitch. There such as shit wasn't any out there.

Stay robbish.

Bus

Thanks Bus for giving us back our life line.

I have a long overdue scare since we lost our haven for comedic, yet very very realistic release.

A few Saturdays ago, a few of the guys got together after the game to have a few beverages on Magazine street. One of which is our very own Tony “B-Side” Breaux. We ended up at Miss Mays. While we were there, a young lad decides that he does not like b-side very much. So, one of Tony’s buddies decided he didn’t like the young lad very much either and gave him a little “love tap” on the side of the head. This, in turn, made us decide to leave the bar (well the bouncers actually made that decision).

To paint you a picture of what the young lad looked like…well, he was like a Marshall with a terminal illness who was trying to establish his impossible dream as a white rapper. In other words, he was a 5’2”, 125lb piece of shit.

Ok the punch line:

After we go outside and the Mini Me, HIV having Eminem had his “classy” girlfriend threaten us all with, “I have my man’s back!!!”, he then decides to tell us he was going to get his gun. Most of us decided it was time to get the hell out of dodge, but not Tony. He tried to chase the kid down. After much persuasion, ending with Jenna crying, Tony showed his sensitive side and got in my car to make her stop crying. He is true sweetheart ladies. Definitely a SCARE with Tony!!

Until next time…

So I lost pretty much the whole site, and after much searching I found a backup I made of the mysql database from october, and then I fortunate enough to have the RSS feeds on my google home page with cached text of the scares and comments posted since then. I am in the process of getting everything back in order.

I've upgraded to a new hamster to help power the website...I think this marmint is a refugee of the Oertling household.

Thanks for your concern, Bus. But don't worry. I have come up with a very strict regiment for rehabilitation. Of course I will be doing plenty of the ole rest, ice compression, and elevation stuff. However, I have a secret weapon. The way I figure it, I need plenty of protein (for the muscle) and milk (does a body good) to speed up my recovery. Therefore I have decided to go on a 100% Chili Cheese Burrito diet. Its perfect, the chili has the protein, the cheese has the dairy (or milk) and it even has an extra bonus of carbs in the tortilla. I should be back on the pitch in no time.

I hear hyperbaric chamber is code word for ccb in TO’s house.

-Rob

I'm not gone but two days, and Rob gets a bonafide scare. More than a scare. Rob once again exhibited dynamicism more than that which the human body was designed to handle. The Robbish One may want to think about getting some synthetic hamstrings.

And to think...people used to question me.... why a site called scare with rob? The poor guy is just full of scares.

Temperature... 7 degrees. 7 is not a temperature, it's how many chili cheese burritos I can eat in one sitting.

I felt it was my duty to explore Denver's offerings my first night in town. While the Elmwood Taco Bell has been secretly selling CCB's, this sight nearly brought me to tears:

To see the Chili-Cheese Burrito listed permanently on the menu....it just explained the very reason someone would want to call a place this cold home.

For those of you who don't already know, our fearless leader and webmaster extraordinaire is leaving town. His journey to greatness (or doucheness) takes him to Denver. One thing I do know is that leaves more chili cheese burritos for me. In fact, I was really shocked hearing about his decision to leave shortly after our favorite snack has made a comeback. I then figured out this little enigma…I checked on the second best website in the world www.chilicheese.org (this one being #1 of course) and found my answer. Denver has not 1, not 2, but THREE Taco Bells with ccb’s. No wonder Denver is closer to heaven.

I guess I will be visiting bus in Denver after all.

-Rob

The following is a stream of consciousness recollection from hopefully prodigal 2nd row, Michael Guarisco and his experiences on Dec. 1 after LSU won the SEC:

Well me chunks and wortmann were at cooter browns watching all the games. I proceeded to get hammered drunk. I went outside and my car was gone, so I freaked and thought someone stole it, so in my drunken state I thought I could run around uptown on foot and find the perps...no luck. Wortmann couldn't find me, my phone died , all Whit got from me was while out of breath, "truck stolen" and then click. Well she started talking to drunk wortmann and he said maybe you should start checking the hospitals. This escalated more and more with my sisters getting involved. Meanwhile I'm still running around uptown like forest fucking gump.

Well Wortmann got tired of waiting and drove back to the north shore Whit is still freaking out so she calls the cops and they do a house check at like 1am. I've been running around uptown for 2.5 hrs now. Cops only find barking dog in house, no drunk Michael.

Well I don't remember what time I finally got home, but it had to be just after that. I find myself on the couch at about 5:30am. The night was fuzzy in my head but I knew my truck had been stolen. I get in the bronco and drive by cooter browns, no Tahoe. So i drive back home and call the cops. They send a unit to my house and he starts yelling at me about something fishy is going on and that I need to call my friend Whitney in Denver cause another unit had already been by there tonight. He also tells me check with the tow companies before I file a report. I call all the companies all of them say no truck. Finally at 1pm the next day, one of them calls back and says yes they do have it. They could not give me a report on why it was towed. I called again today still no report. I got my truck back for $200.

Huge scare, I was outta my gourd. I ran from St. Charles up to like Earhart then back down the other side of Tulane. I just remember looking at Earhart and Pine and thinking what the fuck am i doing here. Then more black out. I spoke to Wortmann like 2 or 3 times while running calling out random intersections. He said he would drive to them and could not find me, thats because I would call them out and just keep running. He also followed a Tahoe that he thought was mine then realized it was the wrong color.

Mike updated this story by explaining he had terrible stomach pains that caused him a hospital visit Tuesday, a result of the alcohol in his stomach and the excessive running, which eroded the lining of his stomach and he got gastritis. By taking a few pills and skipping a few drinks, he is expected to make a full recovery.

If these two animations look familiar to you, then, sorry, it's too late, you've already experienced the worst scare ever. The Matts, Upton and Oertling, like to watch it every night I hear.

This post is an homage to the greatest single food product of all time, the Chili Cheese Burrito. Rob and myself have spent many hours and miles scouring the U.S. in hopes of finding that goodness. In fact, we even planned a Spring Break trip around confirmed locations of Chili-Cheese Burritos.

Solidarity is found in this great website: Chilicheese.org. Taco Bell teased us with the short-lived Nachos promotion, but the hidden gem is that while the stores had Chili, they were making CCB's for a buck o'nine. After only offering it for a few weeks, they have again taken it away. I'm so pissed I can't stand it. I almost went and bought 50 to freeze but I figured I would have more time with it. Now that they have taken it away again, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Lonely is the word. Seriously I hope they bring it back. I'd pay $3 or more a burrito and not blink an eye. Our quest is to educate the masses, and let Taco Bell know how strongly we feel about this.

The rucking support drill we did yesterday at practice provided a definate scarewithrob.

Rob and his blazing dynamicism did not participate in the first phase of the drill, as he opted to support one-legged-Chaddles on a "Hippo" in the second phase. Chaddles took the "Hippo" ball at pace and raced towards the pad-like defenders. Feeling like a spring chicken in the crisp night air, Chaddles decided he would give defending pad Matt Upton a "shot at the title." Rob was in good support of Chadly as they neared impact, but it turned out, his support was too good. Chad's aggressive strike force on Upton, was repelled straight into Rob's cranium when Chad got stood up, slamed into Rob's supporting head, stumbled backwards, and dropped the football. It was almost like a "double kiss" in the game of billards. For this analogy I would like you to envision Upton as the cushiony rail (I know, cushiony is a good word), Chad was the 8 ball bouncing off the rail in the opposite direction from which it came and Rob was the Cue ball trailing the ball it just hit into the rail.

UPDATED TO ENSURE NO CONFUSION: Chad was the person running with the ball, therefore he is the one who dropped the football.

Rob staggered off from the collision punch drunk and possibly slightly concussed telling enforcer Scully that all he could see was "like a black cloud."

Luckily, Rob's sheer manliness and dynamic make-up pulled him through the remainder of practice with no further scares to speak of.

On to Mobile for more fun and games.

In honor of the scary holiday that is Halloween, I present to this picture that doesn't really need any kind of write-up.

Possible scares will be a plenty on the weekend of October 26-28th. Do not miss out on Galactic and Rage on Friday. Scaryjoey has a three day pass and anticipates encountering many scares throughout the weekend. Counterparts welcome.

In other scary news, Rob and Winger gave us all a scare when their war words turned homosexually Douchey yesterday. With niether man willing to let their man pride be outdone by the other, the insults grew sour and unentertaining. the weakness of their shit talking prompted a "No reply to all" email and a Google search of Massengills. I think when Jenna allows Rob's groin to heal (if you know what I'm sayin), the war of words should be settled at the pitch in a douche-on-douche Oklahoma style tackling drill.

We all know that Smooch is our new captain, but the really important news is that the Executive Committee has motioned to make Tony Breaux the lifetime B-side captain. To commemorate this occasion, I heard Tony is looking into getting a new tattoo.